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Parenthood is full of new experiences and challenges. There are things you learn through trial and error, and others you learn to look it up. Putting your baby to sleep is an ordeal that all parents actively prepare for. Putting your newborn to sleep each time they wake up can be exhausting and one way to combat their lack of rest is to co-sleep. Some mothers opt for bassinets that can be attached to their beds, as it makes it easier to breastfeed during the night. This eventually leads to the baby co-sleeping with them in bed. After having disturbed sleep for months you would assume that mothers are more than happy to return to a baby-less bed, but surprisingly this isn’t always the case. In fact, most mothers struggle to fall asleep when co-sleeping ends, and this is not something they see coming. However, it is completely normal for moms to feel this way.
Here are a couple of things you might find difficult when your baby starts sleeping in their own bed:
1. You Can’t Seem To Sleep By Yourself
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It may be hard to fall asleep without your baby beside you. You will find yourself sleeping on what you now refer to as your baby’s spot and get sentimental and sappy that your co-sleeping days are gone. And that’s okay! Dealing with the fact that your baby is growing up but still your baby at the same time can be hard to grasp. Of course you’re happy that they are hitting all the milestones they should but here you are unable to stop the stray tears from falling. It’s common for mothers to miss the special bond they had with their baby when they slept next to each other. The smell of your baby, their warmth, the way they tangled their legs with yours to scooch closer to you. There are so many things you might miss. After all, your baby is your heart walking outside your chest and it may be as hard for you to be separated from them, as it is for them to be separated from you. But you must power through and fall prey to this weakness so that your baby can learn to sleep by themselves healthily.
2. Feeling Guilty For Not Cuddling With Your Husband
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Women tend to give themselves a hard time about bouncing back to the way things were. The pre baby body, the pre baby bed: everything takes time. Not wanting to cuddle and cozy up to your partner just as your baby has started co-sleeping is normal. You’ve had the little one in the middle for so long. It’s hard to go back to the way things were when you’ve had to accommodate another body in between y’all for so long. Besides cuddling a full sized grown man is nothing like cuddling your little baby. You might both feel awkward after being used to the distance. Sometimes you might even sleep in the same positions as you did when your baby was in bed even though you no longer have to hold onto the edge of the mattress. There may be a huge gap between you and your husband now but don’t worry, it will close slowly but surely in time. Give yourself the space to adjust to the post co-sleeping life.
3. You Will Miss Your Baby
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It’s okay for you to miss having your baby in your bed. Spending all that time together while nursing and interacting with them in the late hours of the night when the rest of the world is asleep, is a tiring but enchanting experience. And it’s hard to come to terms with it being over. After all, your baby still needs to nurse and wakes up in the middle of the night. The only difference is you will have to visit their room now. This thought can be depressing. Everything happens so quickly with babies. Seasons change in a blink of an eye and something that you found exhausting is exactly what you’d be left craving. The end of your co-sleeping days may serve as a reminder that nothing with your babies is permanent. Soon they’ll stop having to nurse and will start becoming more independent. But this doesn’t mean they don’t need you, they just need you in different ways.
The connection between a mother and her baby is special and strong so it’s no surprise that you are upset and unsettled as the co-sleeping days end. But know that you have done a great job with your baby and now it’s time to give them space to figure out a few things on their own. Try to get some well deserved rest. After all those sleepless nights and the many hours you’ve sacrificed, if anyone has earned some shut-eye it’s you.
