5 Things To Never, Ever Say To Parents Of A Colicky Baby

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When you become a parent, you realize that the most important thing in your life is your baby’s well being. You don’t mind spending sleepless nights in a row if it means your baby is happy, healthy, and achieving those milestones like they are supposed to.
When you become parents for the first time, you are afraid that you cannot handle a new baby’s responsibilities, but you grow into them over time. You learn and become confident in your abilities as a parent. You might feel a lot more at ease when it comes to your second child because you feel more prepared. But the truth is, it’s never the same.

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Your second child need not necessarily follow the same pattern as your first, and you might have to deal with a new set of issues with them. A parent’s worst nightmare is when their baby is crying, and they cannot figure out why. You don’t know what to do or why your baby is fussing. The cries are intense and for a prolonged time, usually occurring during the evening time. These symptoms point towards a condition called colic. Some infants go through this, and it causes a lot of mental exhaustion for parents. They peak in infants around six weeks and gradually decline after 3-4 months (1).

Several people come forward to give you words of wisdom in the hope of helping you, but it might not only be hurtful, but it can also make you feel angry and irritated. So here are 5 things you should never say to parents whose baby has colic:

In This Article

1. “Have You Tried Taking Them To The Doctor?”

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Do you really think that thought has not occurred to parents? Of course, they have already seen their doctor about it. No parent in their right mind would ignore taking a crying baby who does not sleep to the doctor to make sure there are no complications. They would have probably told their doctor the symptoms, and the doctor would have told them what any doctor would have — “you can try X, Y, Z remedies, but your baby has to grow out of it”.

2. “Have You Tried….?”

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Stop. Before you ask them if they’ve tried this or that, remember that they would have probably tried every remedy there is to try. Gripe water, gas relief drops, massage, visit the chiropractor, probiotics, and whatnot. If you’re about to suggest a remedy like it’s a magical cure, chances are they’ve already tried it, and it has not worked. So shush.

3. “If You’re Breastfeeding, Have You Tried To Cut Out…?”

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Red meat? Diary? Caffeine? What else? This is one of the worst things to ask a mom. When you suggest that she cut something out from her diet and lifestyle, she might feel like it’s her fault. She might blame herself for her baby’s distress, and that only adds to her pain. If you cannot help, try not to aggravate the issue.

4. “My Baby’s Colic Was Much Worse. You’re Lucky.”

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Colic is bad. It does not matter if your baby required more comfort to settle down or if the condition lasted longer for you. It’s bad and shouldn’t be compared with another baby to determine what’s worse. No parent is going to feel “lucky” if their baby has colic. If you have experience with a colicky baby, use it to help other parents and not hurt them.

5. “It Could Be Worse, At Least Your Baby Doesn’t Have… “

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Granted that their baby does not have a life-threatening illness but that does not take away from the fact that it’s hard. Don’t belittle their struggles simply because it could be worse. They are allowed to talk about it. Comfort them and see what you can do to help while their baby grows out of it. Or if you cannot, stay out of it but don’t make it worse.

Your intention might be set in the right place, and it’s natural to want to share your experience, give advice or empathize with parents who have colicky babies. But you might be hurting them rather than helping them. Therefore, be mindful about what you say to parents with newborns, and as long as it’s coming from a place of love, it will be taken the right way.

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