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We all understand that kids can be a little hyperactive or troublesome sometimes, and need to be disciplined. But the only one who should be doing the disciplining are the parents of the child in question. The last thing any parent would want to see is another adult scold their children, even if they are well known to them. And it’s understandable if you’re upset by this. It is your job as a parent to teach your child right from wrong and correct them when they misbehave. But what do you do when someone beats you to the punch? You can’t let your negative emotions override you and start a fight in front of the kids. If you’re in a dilemma and don’t know how to react when someone else scolds your kids then this is the article for you. Keep reading to pick up a few tricks!
1. Make Your Presence Known To Them
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Even something as simple as walking up to the person scolding your child and asserting yourself with your presence will change the dynamics in that conversation. Not only will the opposing adult feel the need to be more gentle and respectful, but your child will feel safe and secure in the knowledge that you’ve got their back and know what’s going on. Sometimes kids hesitate to tell their parents exactly what was said to them and adults take advantage of that. By involving yourself into the situation, the adult will know that they are not the final authority of the situation and that you are there to protect your child. And this itself will calm them down.
2. Assess The Situation Before You React Negatively
We know that it’s upsetting to walk into a room and see that your child is being yelled at by an adult. But having an outburst and working yourself up will not solve the situation, especially when you don’t even know what it is. So, you must focus on cooling down and being as calm as possible. Make sure to address the situation logically. Which means your first order of business is to enquire what’s happened and gather all the information you can. As much as you’d hate to admit it, your child could have been at fault. Maybe they hit another kid, broke something precious or misbehaved in a serious situation. It can be hard not to lash out at the person right away. But try to envision what you would have done in their place and then tell them that you will resolve the situation with your child.
3. Make Your Child Feel Understood
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Being confronted by an adult other than their parents can be a jarring and even frightening experience for your child. So make sure you take them aside and make them feel like their emotions are understood. You can also get down to their eye level and talk to them in order to soothe them. Then slowly ask them for their interpretation of the situation and listen to them without judging them or interjecting. Your child may be to blame but they may also be innocent and too scared to stand up for themselves with the other adult present. So make sure to get the truth gently. Even if your child was wrong, they are more likely to reconsider their behavior and do better in the future if they feel understood now.
4. Be Direct With The Adult
Irrespective of what it is that your child’s done, the adult can simply pull them aside and wait to talk to you about their behavior instead of scolding them harshly. In these situations it’s best to hear the adult out and be direct with them. You can politely tell them that you believe that it is your job alone to discipline your child and that you don’t appreciate them scolding them. Tell them that you will handle the situation with your child and ensure that they don’t repeat the same behavior, but that the adult should stay out of the situation. If they start to argue, ask them what they’d do if their roles were reversed. Being frank will ensure that you are assertive and not aggressive. This way you are calm, diplomatic, open minded and truthful about the situation.
5. Use Humor To Diffuse The Situation
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Never underestimate the ability of a well timed joke to get you out of a sticky situation. Telling a lighthearted joke lowers everyone’s stress levels and makes the adult feel more comfortable around you. Once they’ve calmed down a notch you can assess the situation calmly and sort it out.
Seeing another adult scold your child may make you see red but that doesn’t mean you need to go up in flames. With a few tricks up your sleeve you can make sure that they never do it again and defuse the situation while you’re at it.
