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Grandparents are usually seen as a child’s favorite people. They are there to pamper them and play with them. And many of our own favorite memories involve our grandparents indulging our whims and fancies. But it is just as easy to see your parents as a villain as it is a savior. This is usually the case with kids who don’t get to spend enough time around their grandparents. You need to keep in mind that most kids are not accustomed to seeing old people. And if they don’t interact with their grandparents frequently they may come to fear them or just view them as a stranger. No matter how kind your parents are to your child. And although this can be hurtful, it really isn’t the end of the world. A child’s opinion changes all the time and with a few changes and tweaks, they’ll be right on track to being fast friends with their grandparents. If you want to ensure that this happens down the road, this is the article for you. This is what you do when your kid is afraid of their grandparents.
1.Don’t Take It Personally
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This is a hard one, but your kids being afraid of their grandparents does not mean that you have a bad parenting style or that you are doing something fundamentally wrong as a parent. Children often have the ability to read people better than adults do, so if your child doesn’t like someone, they probably have a good reason why. As a parent, your first order of business is to ensure that your child is safe and protected. So if your child feels uncomfortable or anxious around their grandparents, don’t push the issue. Don’t ask them to stop crying or calm down or get closer to their grandparents. Respect their need for space and distance. In time your child will figure out that their grandparents aren’t scary strangers and they will interact with them more without you having to coax them. Besides, kids have irrational fears all the time. It was probably a beard or a pair of glasses that set them off. Give them some time and let them come around.
2.Don’t Force Your Kids To Engage In Activities They Find Scary
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Kids may be okay with rolling down a hill or climbing the monkey bars and skinning their knees but this doesn’t mean that they are up for anything. It doesn’t matter if it’s fishing with grandpa or gardening with grandma, if your child is uncomfortable and would rather sit out on the activity, don’t force them to participate. Sure, grandparents want to share their favorite hobbies with their grandkids but sometimes that just isn’t possible. Instead give your parents a few ideas that you know your child will like and is used to. Maybe they could go for a walk and get some ice cream or help grandma bake in the kitchen. It’s not the end of the world if your child throws a fit and doesn’t want to do something their grandparents have asked of them. After all, the only hobby kids and grandparents have in common is taking a good afternoon nap.
3.Visiting More Often May Not Make A Difference
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Sure some kids just need to spend more time around their grandparents to really warm up to them. But in other cases, visiting your in-laws more frequently may not make them any more appealing and lovable to your child. Sometimes little kids are just intimidated by adults until they reach a certain age. Once they are older and able to interact with them more, they may gradually change their tune and start to like being around them. All you can really do is wait and see.
4.Ask Your Parents To Vent When The Kids Are Out Of Earshot
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It can be frustrating to have grandkids that don’t gel with you or are terrified of you for no reason. But yelling in front of them or at them isn’t going to do them any good either. If your parents or in-laws want to address your child’s behavior towards them with you, ask them to do so when the kids are not around. This way you can sit down with them and have a deep conversation about what can and can’t be done to foster a more friendly relationship between the grandchild and grandparents. And this way your kid won’t get even more scared as they won’t see their grandparents losing their cool.
The bond between grandparent and grandchild is so special and unique. And something that must be cherished. However, forcing your child will not accomplish a healthy relationship. Allow them to interact with them at their own pace and grow a liking to them.
