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When my best friend had a baby, she took a three-year break from her career. She said that she wanted to focus on her baby and have the time to relax. I wondered if it was the right call because she was brilliant in her work field, and a three-year break could mean that she might lose her edge. I had to tell her what’s on my mind, so I did. “You know it isn’t like the olden days when you have to give up your career to be a mom. Many working mothers are doing both. Why don’t you do consider that?” As much as she appreciated my concern, she told me that she did not want to spend the next few years burning the candle at both ends. I didn’t quite understand what she meant. I thought to myself, “If so many women can do it, why can’t she?” but I didn’t say anything else. I supported her choice and stood by her nonetheless.
A few years later, I became a mom. I welcomed a precious little girl into my life, and she became the light of my world. I was at the peak of my career during the time, and I loved my daughter, but I didn’t want to take a backseat from my career. So, right after my maternity leave, I was all set to go back to work. My husband was super supportive of my decision, but little did I know what I was getting myself into.
Between the late nights at work and sleepless nights at home, I barely had any energy left. I would pump during my breaks, prepare for meetings and presentations when my infant slept and did not have time to catch some shuteye. I was exhausted. Every. Single. Day. This went on for months until I had to take a few days for myself. I had to recharge my batteries. Because, waking up at 5 a.m every day and working till midnight managing both home and work, I was ready to drop. I started to feel like a failure. I was beginning to lose my edge, both at home and at work. I knew I needed to take a breather, or I was going to burn out.
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The break I took got me thinking how every working mom out there feels like a failure because of how much they take on. Taking care of a baby is not a walk in the park. It’s hard work and requires dedication and commitment. So does your career. Balancing the two can take a toll on you and make you feel worthless. Sometimes, you feel like you are incompetent at work, and sometimes, you feel like you’re not spending enough time with your baby. As a career-driven woman, you have to beat the odds to be taken seriously, and if you happen to mess up at work because you had too much on your plate, the last you want to do is to use your baby as an excuse for dropping the ball.
Let me tell you what I’ve learned from being a working mother. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed because it’s not easy to be a working mom. Your baby is the center of your universe, and you have to balance being there for them and keep your career going. To keep things smooth sailing, you might bite off more than you can chew, and it might leave you feeling like you are failing.
I finally understood what my best friend was talking about. She took a break to avoid feeling like a failure, and while I respect her choice, I know that choice would not have been right for me. So hear me when I say this, dear working mothers. We don’t have to give up on a career because of our love for our baby. We just have to cut ourselves some slack and call it a day when we need the rest. Because we are not a failure when we do, we are only human.
