My son has always been taller than most kids around his age. When he turned three, his height just took off and he hasn’t stopped growing since. But when you have a child who’s different from what is considered ‘normal’ for kids belonging to a certain age group, there are some problems that follow. My son was often teased in school about his height.
It’s not like I don’t know how tall my son is for his age. I have brought him up, and I shop for his clothes. But whenever we meet someone, the first comment that people make is about how extraordinarily tall he is, and then they follow it up by asking him about his age. Sometimes, it really gets to me.
Being the mom of a child who’s always been taller than most kids his age, here are a few things I am tired of hearing people say:
1. “He’s Going To Be A Sportsman When He Grows Up, Right?”
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Just because my son is tall, it doesn’t somehow mean that, by extension, he would be interested in athletics. Because even though my son enjoys watching sports, he does not enjoy playing as much. Someone’s height is not a demarcator of their interest and aptitude in playing sports.
2. “What Are You Feeding Him?”
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Look, it is not like I am feeding him anything different from what other kids his age are eating. Moms of kids who are bigger and taller don’t have a secret high-nutrition diet that they put their children on. Perhaps, we might be feeding them more often, but that’s not something out of the ordinary because whenever your child is hungry, you give them something to eat.
3. “I Hope You’re Certain About His Age?”
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No, of course not. I may have given birth to him, but I have absolutely no clue about his age. Yes, I know how old my son is! Why would I go around lying about his age?
4. “How Come He Hasn’t Started Walking Yet?”
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That’s because he isn’t yet old enough to do that! Children who are taller for their age sometimes have to deal with certain developmental expectations that are beyond their age group. It is slightly unfair to place such expectations on children based on their size. And that being said, development occurs in the form of a curve, so there will always be some kids that grow and learn things faster or slower than others. Believe it or not, that is a part of ‘normal’ development.
5. “He Must Have Gotten His Height From His Dad!”
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This statement is wrong on so many levels. Firstly, all dads aren’t tall. My son actually gets his height from my side of the family (I’m 6’1″). His dad is just as tall as me, and he didn’t shoot up until after reaching high school. The second thing wrong with this comment is that it’s heteronormative. I have a friend who is wedded to another woman, and she is often asked this question. Of course, it could be possible that her son got his height from his biological father, but there is no way to ascertain if this is the case. It’s important for us not to assume that only guys can be tall.
6. “Whenever I See Him, He Appears To Have Gotten Bigger!”
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Sure, that is likely, but only if you’re meeting my child only a few times a year. Kids tend to develop rapidly — that’s nothing new.
7. “Why Isn’t He Going To School Yet?”
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I heard this all the time when my son was small. So I got into the habit of responding, “He’s not old enough to do so yet, that’s why.”
Moms of kids who are taller for their age know that they have big kids. They don’t need to have someone over their shoulder to remind them the same time and again.
