Shutterstock
When I had my first kid, I knew very little about motherhood and panicked more than necessary. Even when my baby boy refused to fall asleep anywhere but in my arms — I took that as a compliment. But after some time, it became evident that my child was clinging on to me more than he should, and that would have repercussions for when I put him to sleep in his cradle. He would wake up within a blink of an eye and cry until I was there to pacify him.
It didn’t worry me at first as I could tend to him at all times. But after my husband and I had our second child, I had to force him to sleep in his room. Because every time my baby girl woke up in the middle of the night for her feed, it would disrupt his sleep too! Which left me with two cranky children to deal with at odd hours of the night. And although I felt terrible about this shift, I knew it was the best way to go about things.
Children often need parents by their side to sleep soundly, which can be both delightful and overwhelming.
Toddlers are more receptive when they get cuddles and solid playtime. They like being cooped up in bed when you read bedtime stories, even if you feel like there’s no leg room to stretch. It can also mean waiting at the foot of their bed until they fall asleep or bunk with them in their tiny space.
There are days when you’re extremely grateful for the time with your babies; you admire their innate innocence and will to learn new things. But it can also be quite exhausting to stay glued to one place — simply because they can’t fall asleep without you. You feel guilty when you leave them by themselves but also worry if you’re smothering them. It’s a vicious cycle wherein you constantly overthink your actions because there’s no perfect answer to getting it right. And that needs to stop.
You may want a breather and yearn to be by yourself!
I get it. Sometimes, you want to be away from the responsibility of looking after other beings and pamper yourself. Perhaps why most parents long for their children to fall asleep, so that they can finish their day to day chores and do other things besides parenting.
Image: Shutterstock
Even when you wish to leave the kids with a babysitter, it isn’t a valid option because deep down, you know all hell will break loose. And when your friends and family are over, and you can’t step out of the house at night, you’re forced to take a time out and head to bed with your children to lay with them until they’re asleep. But you do it anyway because it’s much simpler than having them stay up and be sleep-deprived.
Just remember, even if the going gets tough, you’re not alone in this.
You’re only human, and it’s alright to feel like you have no energy left. But whenever you experience this feeling, remember that kids are needy and expect you to be around because they look up to you. Do you know what this means? That you’ve made them feel so comfortable that you’re the last people they want to see before falling asleep and the first thing in the morning. So, you’re doing great, and you’re not alone. And for all the uncomfortable sleepless nights, know that one day, they’re going to grow up and want their own space. That’s when you’re going to get by remembering these precious moments.
Image: Shutterstock
Now that my children are older, I miss them asking me to read to them and play tea time games with them. It doesn’t feel like they need me like they used to back when they were younger, and that makes me feel empty. For better or worse, if this is what it looks like when your child needs you to fall asleep next to them, I would say — so be it. If your children are at the sweet age where they ask to spend all their time with you, want sleepovers, and give you makeovers even, make the most of it because this time too shall pass.
Community Experiences
Join the conversation and become a part of our nurturing community! Share your stories, experiences, and insights to connect with fellow parents.
