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No matter how rewarding the journey of motherhood is, it eventually gets challenging and exhausting. It is important that mothers have the necessary support around them so that they do not tire themselves in this journey of love and responsibilities. However, because of various societal and other reasons, mothers often find it difficult to ask for help, even when they desperately need it. They often feel that they must do everything on their own or they might be termed as bad mothers. Read on to know why it is so difficult for struggling mothers to reach out and share their burden.
Unrealistic Societal Expectations
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Society already has a lot of unrealistic expectations from women. Those expectations often double when a woman becomes a mother. They somehow are fed the idea that they have to become this “perfect mother” who can handle all tasks flawlessly. The supermom myth, created by society and media, creates unrealistic expectations that mothers should effortlessly manage their responsibilities without external aid. As a result, many mothers feel guilty even thinking about asking for help as they believe that would make them look incompetent.
Fear Of Being Judged
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Another common reason behind mothers not asking for help is the fear of being judged harshly and unnecessarily. They often think that if they ask for help, it would mean that they are not good enough as mothers and are failing miserably. However, it is important to understand that motherhood is not easy and it is not always possible for one person to handle every situation on their own. The fear of judgment often leads mothers to feelings of inadequacy and guilt, and unnecessarily complicates the rewarding journey of motherhood.
Lack Of Support System
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A lot of mothers find themselves in situations where they have to live away from their near and dear ones. In such cases it becomes even more difficult for them to reach out to anyone because they feel lonesome. However, it is important for new mothers to remain connected to family members and loved ones at least virtually so that they do not feel lonely in the journey. Family members who live far away should try to remain available a phone call away so that the new mother can reach out to them whenever she wants to.
Fear Of Being Termed As Inadequate
Besides the obvious societal pressures, mothers often create expectations in their own minds about themselves that require them to manage everything on their own. They believe that if they seek help or reach out, they would be proven inadequate and someone who is not good at their job of being a mother. This idea constantly prevents them from asking for help even when they need it the most.
Cultural and Gender Norms
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Cultural and gender norms also play a significant role in why mothers find it difficult to ask for help. In some cultures, the expectation that mothers should solely bear the responsibility for childcare and household chores is deeply ingrained. This can result in a reluctance to reach out for assistance, as it may be seen as a deviation from societal expectations. Gender roles and stereotypes can further perpetuate this notion, with mothers feeling pressured to fulfill their duties without external support. Breaking down these norms and promoting shared responsibilities within families and communities can create an environment where mothers feel more comfortable asking for help.
Fear Of Burdening Others
Mothers often believe that everyone’s needs matter except theirs. This leads them to prioritizing their children’s families’ needs. In the process they often stop thinking about themselves and keep doing everything on their own. They hesitate to ask for help because they feel that might make them a burden on the family. However, it is important for mothers to recognize that seeking assistance does not make them a burden. Family members, friends, and support networks are often willing and eager to lend a helping hand. By opening up and allowing others to support them, mothers can alleviate some of the pressures they face and strengthen the bonds within their relationships.
Given the challenging journey motherhood is, it is important to provide mothers all the support they need. Mothers often overburden themselves and that leads to exhaustion and fatigue. Because of societal expectations and ideas about motherhood in their own heads, mothers often do not reach out even when they desperately need help. However, it is important that they remember that they are not alone in their journey and help is always available once they ask. Do you have any other reasons that you think stop mothers from asking for help? Let us know in the comment section!
