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Who doesn’t love the idea of having a baby around? Especially when it’s one of your closest friends or family members who is expecting. Am I right?
The thought of being around a cute little munchkin beats the blues out of everyone and fills us with hope and joy. But have you ever wondered how a new mom or parent, for that matter, feels about all this?
From being bombarded with unsolicited advice around pregnancy from every relative and friend to sharing a checklist on how not to raise the baby, there’s so much pressure to get it right for first-time moms that it makes the task at hand look overwhelming to say the least.
The pandemic has been making things more difficult for new parents and parents-to-be!
My cousin was expecting her first child when Covid-19 took over our lives! So it’s not an exaggeration when I say her pregnancy was all kinds of stressful. While we couldn’t have her parents or in-laws fly out to be close to her, we did have many relatives video calling to stay connected.
It seemed nice at first to see my sister get all the attention from people who couldn’t be physically present. But eventually, the phone never stopped ringing. I suppose the older generation feels more at ease when they can keep an eye on their loved ones, especially when it’s someone on a journey to motherhood.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to ensure the safety of the mom-to-be and the star of the family, right? But that’s no reason to make someone feel like they’re messing up all the time.
Before giving birth, my cousin was given all kinds of advice on why not to opt for cesarean delivery, among other things. And after my niece was born, she was being told about feeding the baby, dressing her up, and focusing on losing her pregnancy weight.
It looks like people will never stop imposing their opinions onto others in the form of “friendly advice.”
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So we need to ask the big question that may help first-time parents heave a sigh of relief! While the little one is a priority for every mother, how do we ask people to back off and let new parents just figure things out?
It’s a given that no parent is going to compromise when it comes to looking after their baby. So why put more pressure on them by telling them they aren’t doing things the right way? And since there’s definitely no one way to get it right, perhaps we can let them conclude what really works for them on their own.
The constant nagging, phone calls, and moral policing on how not to treat the baby is not just intrusive but also unflattering. Every relationship comes with its learning curve. So there’s no point in measuring a mom’s success based on experiences that aren’t hers. When there are things that may need an expert opinion, there’s nothing a healthcare provider can’t help with!
Babies make our days better because they have this raw innocence that can make everyone’s world go round. But let’s not strip the parents of making choices based on their own point of view.
Let’s empathize with new parents or parents-to-be by giving them what they need the most — love, understanding, and creating a safe space to learn from their mistakes. And the only way of doing so is by putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world from their eyes. For new parents, everything isn’t always hunky-dory, so let’s not add to the stress that comes with parenting with our judgemental thoughts.
