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As parents, you want to give your little one the world. Often, parents will resort to doing everything for their kids so that they don’t face the same struggles that they did growing up. And although this notion is sweet and sentimental, it can also be detrimental. After all, your struggles were your greatest lessons, and overcoming challenges is what made you an independent and competent adult. So, are you sheltering your child when you shield them from difficult tasks or are you stunting their growth and character development? Besides, children naturally want to exercise autonomy after a certain age. Sure they may seem momentarily satisfied when you offer to fix their problems. But in the long run, this will affect them in their adult life. Here are a few reasons why you shouldn’t make everything easy for your kids and what might happen if you do.
1. Frustration And Low Tolerance
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When kids get whatever they want without having to make an effort to earn it, they don’t really understand the meaning of the word “no.” And why would they? This is why getting everything you want just by asking for it can have a negative effect on your child. Because one day, when you do say no out of the blue, they are not going to be able to handle it. They might get frustrated for not getting what they want and may even lash out. Sometimes, denying your children certain privileges or things can benefit them. This doesn’t mean they can’t have it at all, but that they might have to wait for a longer period of time or prove that they can have it. Take a pet for example, and ask them to show you they can be responsible for the pet by being responsible for themselves first. Or let them wait a couple of weeks to get the new Playstation. This will help them learn how to control negative emotions and channel them into positive actions, eventually leading to them earning what they want.
2. They Won’t Know The Value Of Work And Effort
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We’re not saying that you have to keep score of every little thing you do for your children and demand that they repay you in some way or the other. But if at all times, in every situation, and in every case, children receive what they want without any difficulty, they won’t realize the importance of hard work and effort. Once your kids learn that all it takes to get something is to open their mouths and ask for it, any additional effort that you encourage them to do will be met with inaction. This is because they have already internalized that they will get what they want regardless of whether they do what you are asking of them or not. This won’t just diminish their work ethic and make it nonexistent. They may also devalue the work and effort of others. Since they have no frame of reference, they might often wonder why their peers and friends put in the effort at school in order to do well in life as they assume that everything will be handed over to them if they simply ask. This will result in a very rude awakening once they grow up as we all know the adult world does not work this way.
3. They May Become Anxious In Scenarios Very Quickly
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Your kids may get everything they want when they want it when they are around you, but that may not be the case with everyone they interact with. If your child is used to getting their way then they probably don’t know anything about the fundamental values of patience and waiting. This is why when things don’t go as planned or they don’t get what they want immediately, they might start to panic and get anxious. This may be caused by impatience. When they grow up, they may not be able to adjust or comply with plans their friends make and may come off as stubborn and stuffy for this very reason.
4. Dependence
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The most important job you have as a parent is to make your kids capable and independent. By taking away your child’s chance to grow and evolve after facing hurdles, you are robbing them of that right. Your child will not suddenly learn how to fend for themselves upon reaching a certain age. It’s all about fostering autonomy, problem-solving skills, and independence from a young age.
As hard as it may be to watch your baby struggle, sometimes it’s for the best. Have faith in your child, support them as they face new challenges, and take them in stride. This way they will never have to deal with the pitfalls of getting everything they want and neither will you. Happy parenting!
