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From the dawn of time, every little child has been taught that sharing is caring. We are told to hand over our favorite toys, snacks and even the attention of our parents without question or hesitation. Now, adults reason that since we live in a society where we all depend on each other, it’s important to teach your kids to share from a young age. And although learning to be generous, considerate and accommodating are necessary, does this really equate to sharing in the end? Do adults hand over their car or home when someone asks, without some due consideration and deliberation? Does this make them bad or selfish? The answer in most cases, is no. So then why do we expect our little ones to follow this principle? If you’re wondering why you shouldn’t teach your toddler to share without giving it any thought, then this is the article for you. Read on to know more!
1. They Don’t Understand The Concept
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The main reason getting your toddler to share can be difficult at best, and disastrous at worst is, because they don’t really understand what sharing means. They are simply too young to understand the concept, even if they have siblings younger than them. And repeatedly explaining the concept to them won’t exactly change this either. Toddlers are just babies who are a tad bit overgrown in this sense.
All they’ve ever known is their needs and wants being met immediately. And they won’t understand why they need to compromise on this all of a sudden. This is why it’s important to wait until your toddler is at least a little older. Wait until they have had a chance to develop more emotionally and mentally.
2. They Build A Sense Of Ownership By Not Sharing
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Toddlers are little humans who have just been introduced to the world and to themselves. They are yet to figure out who they are with respect to their environment and surroundings. And they usually do this by interacting and engaging with said surroundings in a very personal way. Parents must keep in mind that toddlers are yet to develop a sense of self.
They don’t really see themselves as separate or individual people yet. Having toys that belong to them and no one else gives them some insight into this understanding of self. So, when your little one grabs something and refuses to hand it over because it’s theirs, they are not being selfish or trying to be exclusionary. They are simply testing out the possibilities that come with being an individual. They also don’t understand that things can belong to multiple people at once and not just them. So try to go easy on them.
3. They Think Sharing Means Getting Rid Of Their Things
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Toddlers fail to understand that sharing means that they will get their things back. And this is mostly because toddlers don’t understand the concept of time. So, while a parent might think that allowing another child to play with their toddler’s favorite toy for a couple of minutes isn’t a big deal, the toddler thinks that they expect them to hand over something precious to someone else forever. They think they are giving up the toy for good because they don’t understand that the other child will return it. This can also be the case when you ask kids to take turns playing on the swing or slide.
4. They Don’t Have Much Control Over Their Feelings
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Every parent to a toddler knows that when your little one wants something, it can be hard to take their mind off of it. Toddlers have next to no impulse control. So, if they feel like playing with their toy and see that someone is going to take it away from them, they snap and spiral. There’s really nothing you can do in this case but give them a couple of minutes for them to calm down and try again when they are ready to listen to your explanation.
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In some instances, your toddler may want to share something with you in order to explore and experiment what this action would lead to. When they do demonstrate this behavior, encourage them by saying positive words and sharing back with them. This way they understand that they get their things back and that they might get to use your things in return for their generosity.
Teaching your kids how to share can be tricky. You want them to be accommodating but still put their own needs first. The trick is to not rush them to understand this concept at a young age. They will slowly start to exhibit this behavior as they grow older and understand the concept in small steps.
