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You might tease your older sibling for being bossy or appearing as the favorite, but they shoulder numerous responsibilities that their younger counterparts don’t have to concern themselves with. Many parents find great relief when their eldest child reaches an age of maturity, as they can then assist with their younger siblings. In addition to helping with household chores, they can occasionally take care of the younger children, granting their parents some well-deserved free time. While this assistance may be a boon for parents, there are potential downsides to assigning caregiving responsibilities to your older child. It can lead to adverse effects. Continue reading to understand why it’s generally not advisable for older siblings to babysit their younger counterparts.
1. Too Much Responsibility Is Pushed At Them
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While it’s valuable for your older children to learn responsibility, it’s essential to recognize that their role is not to assume all of your responsibilities. There’s a significant distinction between requesting your child to keep an eye on your toddler while you prepare dinner and leaving them solely responsible for the toddler for extended periods. If your child is willing to occasionally watch over their siblings, that’s perfectly fine. However, you should not presume their assistance as an entitlement. If they choose to prioritize other commitments and plans, it’s important not to become upset with them for being unable to care for your child.
The problem is that many older siblings are not given a choice and have to grow up quicker as a consequence because they are “in charge”. This turns out to be an unwanted burden for them. At the end of the day, your child shouldn’t be acting as another parent. If they are, you’re doing something wrong. Because no matter how mature they are, they are still children. They are not equipped to handle stressful emergency situations or accidents. So it’s best not to treat them like an adult in this regard.
2. They Are Not Old Enough
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Chances are that your older child is going to get a million things wrong when you leave them alone with their younger sibling. And can you blame them? Looking after a tiny tot is hard enough for an adult, let alone another child. Most parents use their older kids as a very convenient substitute for a nanny. But you must keep in mind that they are not professionals. They may not know the best way to change diapers, feed the baby or how to deal with them if they throw a tantrum. They’re probably two minutes away from throwing one themselves! So it’s unrealistic to expect the same amount of devotion and expertise that you would a seasoned professional.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting your kids to help out every now and then but make sure the tasks you give them are age appropriate. Instead of directly taking care of their siblings, they can help clean up the house and keep their toys in one space. Let them read to their siblings before bed or play with them in order to get them to fall asleep faster or just keep them occupied.
3. It Can Cause A Strain In Their Sibling Relationship
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Compelling your older child to regularly look after their siblings can breed resentment. They might perceive this as an undue burden, causing them stress and pressure. Consequently, they may start harboring negative feelings toward their younger siblings. After all, nobody wants to be constantly responsible for their younger brother or sister when they could be out playing like their peers. Moreover, constantly being in charge can compel the older child to adopt an authoritative role, which the younger ones may not always heed or respect. This can be highly frustrating for the older child, as they are expected to act like an adult but not granted the corresponding recognition. Such dynamics can lead to conflicts and sibling arguments.
4. They Sacrifice Their Own Childhood
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The eldest sibling often has a long list of tasks to get through the day. Not only do they have to do household chores, do their homework, keep on top of their extra curricular activities, but they also need to help out with their siblings. This doesn’t exactly leave them with any time to relax and play. Kids need time to themselves too. And no matter how much older they are to their siblings, they need to be allowed to be children. To run around, do what they want and make mistakes. Often, older children are made to give up these privileges and that’s not okay.
Having multiple children can be strenuous and exhausting but it was ultimately the parents’ decision to have more than one child. Older kids are not the solution you are looking for. They are kids that need taking care of too. So using them to take care of the younger ones would do more harm than good.
