As your little one grows old and starts to have a mind of their own, parents have to come to terms with the fact that discipling them is just part and parcel of the parenting game. Discipling your children is necessary and something all parents must undertake in order to raise kids who are responsible and understand that their actions have consequences. However, the way you go about discipling your children is important as well. The last thing you would want is to create another issue instead of helping your child resolve the one that they are dealing with. But parents are human beings and can make mistakes from time to time. Here is a list of some disciplining mistakes that many parents make, so that you can avoid this pitfall and teach your kids the right way!
1. Yelling In Public
We get it, you’re tired and took the kids out to run some chores. But all of a sudden they start to have a huge meltdown, drawing attention to themselves and won’t calm down no matter what you do. You’re frustrated, overwhelmed and embarrassed, so you yell. This is a natural impulse that many people have. But yelling at your kids while they are throwing a tantrum in public can be counterproductive.
Most kids start to throw tantrums in public spaces when they are overwhelmed, hungry or just tired. The best thing you can do to alleviate the situation is get them to a quieter spot as soon as possible. You yelling at them will only lead to them feeling hurt and self conscious. So, the next time your child is being difficult, go to a place where you can be alone with them and talk about their behavior. You can come up with your own signal or sign that they can use if they want to leave soon.
2. Bribing The Kids
You are doing a disservice to yourself and your kid when you bribe them in order to get them to cooperate with you. Many parents turn to bribing their kids in order to calm their tantrums instantaneously. And this way the child gets the wrong message. They will start to believe that all they need to do is make a big enough scene in order to procure what they want, and they would be right.
This will hinder their chance to learn valuable life lessons like hard work, patients and delayed gratification. Rewarding bad behavior is not the way to get your child to stop exhibiting said behavior. This also applies to rewarding your child for doing simple tasks like standing silently in a queue. Your child doesn’t have to be rewarded for every single thing they do. Allow them to learn what is expected of them in terms of mannerisms out in public and at home.
3. Overlooking Signs Of Hunger
Many of our parents probably sent us to bed on an empty stomach when we acted out or refused to eat what they prepared for dinner. But is that really the best course of action? Starving your child is never the answer to your problems. It’s one thing to excuse them from the table if they are not hungry. But denying them food simply because they didn’t behave the way we expected them to will not solve the behavioral issue. Besides, oftentimes, the reason your child is throwing a fit is because they are hungry and need a good meal. So let them enjoy dinner and then you can both sit down and talk about some appropriate disciplinary actions that need to be enforced.
4. Taking Out Your Frustration On Your Kids
After a long day of balancing work, kids, spouse and a social life, coming home to your child who has disobeyed you can be the match to light the fuse. But is this really fair to the kids? Sure, they might have done something they weren’t supposed to, like playing in the water. But having an outburst is not the best way to go about this. Especially when you know it has more to do with everything you’re dealing internally and not your child’s misstep.
So, what do you do? Well, if you think you’re close to losing your mind, ask your spouse to deal with the kids and take a breather. It’s okay to put some distance between you and the kids in order to cool off and think rationally again. If you’ve got no one to take over for you, calmly tell your kids that you will discuss this with them later and take a minute to compose yourself.
Raising kids isn’t all sunshines and rainbows. Most days it’s difficult decisions, hard work and a lot of compromise. But don’t let this be the reason you slip up and discipline your kids the wrong way!