Do ‘36 Questions To Fall In Love’ Work To Develop Feelings?

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Can two people fall in love in 45 minutes? Feels surprising, right? If you don’t believe what you just read, read 36 questions to fall in love and the story behind them. According to a 1997 study conducted by the psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron, if one individual asks these 36 questions to another person, they develop a feeling of intimacy (1).

Some of the participants of this study ended up marrying each other within a short time. So, if you feel enticed to try these questions, go ahead. Sit with the person you like or are attracted to and ask these questions to learn if they are the right one for you or not. Keep reading for those 36 questions and figure out if they work or not.

Do The ‘36 Questions To Fall In Love’ Work?

The 36 questions to fall in love are specifically designed to help two people get close to each other and feel a sense of intimacy. They might not fall in love immediately, but there is a scope of them developing positive feelings for each other and eventually connecting on a deeper level (2).

While some couples have fallen in love even during the study, there are exceptions in every case. However, even if a couple has varied beliefs, there is a chance that they might want to get to know each other better, even after a few days after asking the questions.

What Are The 36 Questions To Fall In Love?

You might be curious to know what the 36 questions to fall in love are. Without further ado, let us get to them straight away.

We have divided these questions into three sets, starting from the obvious and simple ones to those that need some introspection and are likely to reveal your innermost thoughts.

Set 1:

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a guest for dinner?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself or someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner should have in common.
  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with one quality or ability, what would you want it to be?

Set 2:

  1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
  2. Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?
  3. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  4. What do you value most in a friendship?
  5. What is your most treasured memory?
  6. What is your most terrible memory?
  7. If you knew that you would die suddenly in one year, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  8. What does friendship mean to you?
  9. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  10. Share a positive characteristic of your partner and ask them to do the same. Share a total of five characteristics about each other.
  11. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than other people’s?
  12. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set 3:

  1. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …”
  2. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”
  3. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be essential for them to know.
  4. Tell your partner what you like about them—be very honest and say things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
  5. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  6. When did you last cry in front of another person or by yourself?
  7. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
  8. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? How would you react if someone joked about it?
  9. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  10. Your house, with everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  11. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  12. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how they might handle it.

The list of questions to fall in love has been designed to create intimacy with a stranger by getting to know more profound and meaningful information about them. The questions get progressively personal, forcing your partner to share everything with you, which may also appear to them as you being interested in them immensely. Moreover, you begin to learn about the person more intimately by the end of the questionnaire. And when your answers align, you might even end up being together soon.

References:

MomJunction's articles are written after analyzing the research works of expert authors and institutions. Our references consist of resources established by authorities in their respective fields. You can learn more about the authenticity of the information we present in our editorial policy.
1. 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness; Greater Good Science Center – University of California, Berkeley
2. 36 Questions That Help You Fall In Love; Mindful.org
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Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources from Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship... more

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