Not so long ago, you and your partner were madly in love with each other. Inseparable, you laughed together, encouraged each other, and hoped it would be the same forever.
But things change with time, so do you and your loved one. You love each other but are not as madly in love as you once were. Something is missing, and your heart knows it. You want to go back in time and experience it all over again. But you are hesitant to talk to your partner about it. If you are stuck in a vicious circle of deliberation, thinking if it’s possible to love again and how to fall back in love, then this MomJunction post is for you.
Is It Possible To Fall Back In Love?
If you genuinely want to be with your partner and don’t want to let go of your relationship, chances are you can fall back in love. If you still remember the good times of your romantic relationship and miss them, the spark is still there and just needs to be reignited, then you can fall in love once again with your partner.
Busy lives, mid-life crises, disagreements, children, or finances, no matter the reason for your drifting apart, your relationship deserves a second chance. Because love deserves a second chance. A little effort and time can help replace the wrongs with the right.
Ways To Fall Back In Love
Falling back in love with your partner is easy when you strongly want to. That said, you should be willing to be flexible and adjust your needs to accommodate the needs of the relationship. Here, we have some tips to help you with that.
1. Stay honest to yourself
Before anything else, ask yourself if you really want to get back with your partner. Once you have clarity about wanting to be with them, taking the next steps would be easier.
Make a list of reasons you want to be with your partner. If you have been in a flawed relationship, ask yourself if you are ready to forgive and move on with the same person. When all your answers are a firm ‘yes,’ then you can think of what to do next to get your love back.
2. Avoid negative or obstructive communication
Silence and critical talking are two common forms of negative communication in a relationship. They do more harm and no good. So set your anger aside and freely express your feelings. You may ask your partner to do the same.
Talk and figure out what has changed, what’s going wrong between you, and how you can resolve the matter. This will help you understand and bridge the gaps that were caused due to miscommunication. Lay everything out on the table, remove what’s hurting you and add what you need to steer your love life in the right direction. Just make sure that you choose your words carefully and sensibly, to not hurt one another.
3. Say no to the blame game
When something goes wrong in the relationship, try not to blame your partner immediately. Assess the situation and own your mistakes if you are responsible for a problem. If your partner is the one at fault, try to forgive and avoid holding grudges if you want to move forward. That does not mean you should let them get away with their mistakes.
Both partners must be willing to be accountable, rather than blame each other, to make the relationship work.
4. Don’t have any expectations
‘Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed,’ said Alexander Pope.
We all have expectations from people, especially our loved ones. But expectations can also lead to disappointments, which can make you frustrated and unhappy. Understand that not everything in the world happens as you want it to. Your partner may also not act exactly like you want them to. So, your expectations may not always be fulfilled.
To stay happy and content in a relationship, and to make things work again, try to let your expectations go.
5. Be kind to your partner
Kindness can change a life. Instead of hating, degrading, or criticizing someone, you can be kind and get what you want in return. Kindness and love can let you both forget whatever has happened in the past and look ahead to a better future.
To bring back the lost love in between you, be generous and easy-to-approach.
6. Make a note of all the things you love about your partner
You did fall in love with the person who you seem to have difficulty connecting with now. What was so appealing about them then? Why were you smitten by them? Make a list of all the things about your partner that you were attracted to or you admired back then. Was it the sense of humor, the generous nature, the charm or positive vibes? Or was it their outgoing nature, the silliness, boldness, or their personality in general?
Make a list. But know that people change over the years and your partner may not be the exact same person that they once were when they met you. But deep down all the superficial things, they could still be the kind and loving soul you fell for. Find them in your partner, and you’d fall back in love with them as you did before.
7. Make your partner feel special
Winston Churchill said, ‘Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is the key to unlocking our potential.’
If you desire to make everything work again, you should step forward to rekindle those feelings. To bridge the gap with love, you need to make some effort and let your partner know how important he or she is for you. Little things such as appreciating, surprising, and expressing your emotions are enough for both of you to fall back in love.
That’s not impossible to try, is it?
8. Hold on to physical intimacy
When emotional intimacy is amiss, physical intimacy can come to your rescue, by tending to your wounds and repairing the damaged surface. After certain years, it may be difficult to express your love and affection as you used to. When your words fail you, you can try the power of touch. Physical intimacy or lovemaking is the key to togetherness.
We tell you how.
Oxytocin or the love hormone is a peptide hormone that stimulates relationship-building and sexual activity. Touching your partner, even kissing or holding hands promotes positive connection, which can play an important role in making you fall in love once again (1).
9. Don’t be bitter
Bad things happen. Sometimes your partner does something wrong, and at times it is you who does something you shouldn’t have. Take a break, figure out what went wrong, resolve it, and deal with the anger or sadness immediately to prevent building up resentment.
When you are free of resentment, you’ll feel more open and be able to express yourself better. Even your partner will sense your efforts and walk with you on the same path. It may not be easy to forget the past, but you should make an effort to let it take a back seat. After all, life is short and shouldn’t be wasted on negative elements.
10. Plan a vacation
Sometimes, the only way to take a break from difficult or frustrating thoughts is to actually take a break from them and the mundane routine or lifestyle that is probably fuelling them. Plan a holiday with your partner and get away from the boring life. Rejuvenate your mind and soul, and spend quality time with your partner.
When you are together, with nothing else to focus on but each other, you will be able to find each other and love each other again.
11. Cut off from technology
Some may agree. and some may not, but technology can widen the rift between two people. Digital platforms can interfere with people’s lives and impact their love life by pushing up their romantic expectations unreasonably and taking away their attention from what is real in the relationship.
When you are hooked to your smartphones or gadgets, you are also not paying attention to your partner. This creates a void between the couple, thereby breaking the connection.
To love your partner again and to regain the lost love, you need to give them time. And that’s possible only when you disconnect yourself from the virtual world and step into reality.
12. Figure out yours and your partner’s interests
Wanting to cling to your partner always is not healthy for the relationship. Even though you are a couple, you are two unique individuals with varying interests. And you both need to spend some ‘me time’ that helps you recharge and think straight again.
So, pick up your interests and enjoy them individually. Doing things that you love will help you declutter your mind and promote positivity.
13. Make your partner your priority
To fall in love again, you need to prioritize the people in your life. Your partner should be before anyone else in your personal or professional life. Make sure no outside influences are driving you away from each other. When you put each other first, getting closer to each other will become so much easier.
Not everyone is fortunate to have a loving partner. If you do, don’t let them get away. Falling in and out of love happens, but love will always be there. If you are willing to hold your partner’s hands always, then nobody can stop you from staying in love. Sew your love story with some sturdy threads, and you will be happy.
Would you do anything differently to fall back in love with your partner? Tell us about it in the comments section below.