Having a crush on someone is fun, especially when their proximity gives you the butterflies and you wake up excited each morning to catch a glimpse of this special person. But, sometimes, a crush can knowingly or unknowingly crush your heart by not reciprocating the same feelings.
Rejection by a crush can be painful, but it is relatively common. Imagine the number of hearts Joe Jonas crushed when he got married. Similarly, if your crush is with someone else or even single but unavailable to you, then it is time you take charge of your wounded heart and mend it for the right person. Here are some tips on how to get over a crush and ways to move on.
How To Get Over A Crush: 21 Ways To Move On
1. Accept the situation
Acknowledge and accept the fact that the feelings for your crush may not culminate into anything. Your crush is probably seeing someone or does not feel for you the way you feel. Initially, you may deny this glaring fact and may be tempted to hold on to false hopes. But the more you delay, the more painful it might get for you.
2. Be okay with not being okay
When you accept the rejection, it may hurt you immensely. But fearing the pain, if you try to shove your feelings behind, it could come back harder to haunt you later. Instead, allow yourself to feel bad, and do not hate yourself for feeling the way you do. Embrace your emotions so you can eventually let go of them.
3. Cut contact with your crush
If you want to move on, limit contact with your crush. Do not communicate, or at least reduce the amount of time you spend with them. This may be difficult, especially if you study or work with them, but try to maintain as much distance as possible because seeing them less can help you heal sooner.
4. Identify the reason for your feelings
If you cannot cut complete contact, identify what you like in your crush and focus only on that without expecting anything more from them. For example, you may like a person because they are humorous or their fun-loving nature attracts you. It’s okay if you cannot date them; you can still be their friend.
5. Unfollow your crush on social media
Seeing your crush’s happy images with their significant other while you are hurting inside can feel like a dagger piercing through your heart. Save yourself the pain by unfollowing your crush or mute them on all your social media platforms. Do not revisit their old pictures and sigh in dejection.
6. Take a break from social media
It is likely that even after you have unfollowed your crush on social media, you might be tempted to stalk their profiles and check out their latest or even old updates. So, quit social media for a while. Even if it is not your crush, someone else’s lovey-dovey image might upset you, so it is better to keep a safe distance.
7. Look at the situation practically
Your crush may be abusive, but you are so blinded by your warm feelings that you cannot see the reality. Step out of your fantasy world to have a close look at your crush and see if they are even worthy of your attention. When you acquaint yourself with your crush’s flaws, they may cease to appeal to you.
8. Remember, it is just a phase
No matter what situation you are in today, know that it is not permanent. Remember your first crush in school, and how you cannot even recall their name? Feelings fade with time. As time passes, the hurt you feel today will become less intense or might even vanish.
9. Write down your feelings
An unrequited crush can make you feel let down by yourself. It is best to sort out such negative feelings as soon as possible before it starts taking control of you. Whatever you may be feeling at the moment, write it down. Give your thoughts and feelings an outlet. Let all that pain flow out of you and settle on the paper.
10. Share your feelings with someone trustworthy
Speaking out aloud what weighs on your mind can help you feel lighter. If possible, try to talk about how you feel to someone you trust. It can be a friend or anyone older than you who you think might guide you the right way. Maybe they have experienced something similar and can help you tackle your situation.
11. Stop talking about your crush
Once you have confided in someone you trust and feel better, it is time you shut your crush from your life. Avoid over talking and sharing your pain with anyone you meet. Otherwise, you may be reliving your rejection, causing more pain to yourself. Instead, forbid those around you from mentioning your crush in front of you.
12. Love yourself
Rejection may leave you sad, but it is time to love yourself more. So, read a good book, binge-watch your favorite TV series or movies, plan a vacation, and do anything that will lift your spirits.
13. Keep yourself occupied
When your mind is empty, it is bound to think about unwanted topics. Do not leave any scope for unpleasant memories to bother you. Immerse yourself in work or studies. Work hard to complete projects in time. Put in extra efforts to get yourself something you have always wanted.
14. Do something special for yourself
It is good to be mindful of your expenses, but splurging on yourself once in a while can do wonders for your wellbeing. Make yourself feel special by doing something you have never done before. Try experimenting with your look by coloring your hair, go for a spa treatment, or buy a new gadget you have been eyeing for a while. Pamper yourself because you are worth it.
15. Get involved in enjoyable activities
Have your friends been inviting you to a social gathering or a meet-up? Now is the time to go for it. Do not miss your friend’s party because you feel low. Instead, go for it. Who knows, you might meet someone special there. Do not quit activities that you enjoy doing. Do them to keep your body and mind healthy.
16. Learn something new
Is there something you have wanted to do but procrastinated for a long time? Well, it is time to do it now. Go, join that pottery class you wanted to join. Learn something new and aim to excel at it. Do it with such passion that you will feel proud of yourself by the end of it and leave behind the disappointment faced in love.
17. Meet new people
Do not rush to replace your crush with someone new, but do not refrain from meeting new people. It does not mean you have to get involved with someone new. Make new friends. Listen to their stories and life experiences. It might help you get a new perspective on life.
18. Give thought to dating
Without rushing, if you feel you are ready to meet someone new who might interest you, do not hold yourself back. You never know; you might end up meeting the partner you have been looking for. And even if it does not work out, it’s okay to continue to work hard to find your true love.
19. Know that you are not alone
Whenever you feel bogged down by negative thoughts, remember you are not the first and certainly not the last person to have an unrequited crush. Remember how desperately Julianne wanted to break her best friend Michael’s wedding in ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding?’ Many of us have had crushes that were out of our reach. So, cut yourself some slack and let it go.
20. Know that it is their loss
Talk to any friend about it, and they will tell you ‘it is their loss.’ And they are not wrong. Do not lose sight of who you are and what you are capable of. If someone does not share your feelings, it does not make you lose your value. Your heartstrings are meant to be tied to the special person meant for you. So, do not feel upset if your crush is not the one.
21. Seek professional support
If you feel overwhelmed by your feelings and cannot manage yourself, then it is best to seek professional help. A qualified counselor can guide you through the low phase. They can help you tap your innermost feelings and address unresolved emotions so you can successfully move on in life.
Crushes bring some excitement to life. And it can be addictive. But the wrong crush can affect you negatively if you do not keep a check on your emotions. People come and go in life, and the ones that stay behind are genuinely your people. So, there is no use holding on to someone who feels differently for you. Instead, cherish the ones who like you back and will do anything to see you smile.