35 Clear Signs To Know If He Is The One

Clear Signs To Know If He Is The One

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How do you know if you have found Mr. Perfect initially in the relationship? How do you tell if he is “the one” for you? Does he make you laugh almost every day, occasionally holding you in his arms and sending you cute yet flirty text messages? We have all grown up drooling on someone, watching romantic movies, or reading romance novels. We believe that finding “the one” will give us the “happily ever after” moment we always hoped for.

Therefore, after dating a person for a while, you naturally want to know if he is “the one” with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Although there is no fixed formula to tell you whether he is the right person, some signs may point you in the right direction.

Check out this list of 35 signs to know if he is the one for you.

35 Signs To Know If He Is The One

Deciding to spend your entire life with someone is not an easy decision. Read on to find out if the man you are seeing is your soulmate.

1. You can be yourself around him 

You should be able to share your innermost fears, your insecurities, and your past without being judged. You should be able to share your own pleasant and unpleasant experiences in life, and you must feel comfortable sharing anything from him. If you are unsure to show him your imperfect side, he may not be “the one” for you. An ideal partner will make you feel comfortable, safe, and cherished. If he is that person, he will love and accept your imperfections, too.

2. You have healthy discussions and disagreements 

Communication is the key to any relationship. You should be able to express your opinions freely without ever getting into arguments and fights. This does not mean that you always agree with each other, but you have to listen to and respect each other’s views. You should be able to resolve conflicts in a friendly way without anger or resentment. If he values your opinions, even if they are different, and is ready to discuss them, he may be “the one” for you.

3. You trust each other

You can talk to him about your feelings, and he does the same. He doesn’t feel the need to keep tabs on you or check your phone and is perfectly secure with you spending time with your guy friends or colleagues. Trust is a two-way street, so the same applies to you. You should be able to trust this guy without questioning his every move. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. So, if the two of you trust each other unreservedly, it is a good sign of a long-term partnership.

4. You have similar core values 

You may not share the same food preferences, but your views on childbirth, family, financial status, spirituality, and future plans should be in line with one another. If your basic values contradict each other, then this can lead to conflicts. If you share similar values, he may be the right person for you.

5. You give each other freedom 

Everyone cherishes their own freedom. You may be together, but the two of you are separate individuals who have their own life. This means you have your own lifestyle and a circle of friends, colleagues, family members who need your time and attention. Therefore, imposing restrictions can be detrimental to any relationship. If your partner gives you the freedom to live your life the way you want, he might be the one you are looking for.

6. He makes you feel secure

When he is with you, you feel like nothing can hurt you. He gives you a sense of happiness and security. He is the knight in shining armor. When you feel threatened, you look for him. You feel safe, physically and emotionally, when he is around. If your guy evokes this feeling in you, then he may be “the one.”

7. He loves being with you

Despite his busy schedule, he finds a way to spend time with you. He surprises you at home or the workplace because he misses you. If this is the case, it means he really likes to spend time with you, and he may be “the one” you are looking for.

8. You gel well with each other’s families 

Marriage is not a union of two people, but a union of two families. Therefore, to advance the relationship, it is important to maintain good contact with each other’s family. If you get along well with his family, and he enjoys your family’s company, then this is a good indication that he is the perfect person to be your future husband.

9. He pushes you to be the best version of yourself 

If he believes in you and supports you in everything you do, you will start to become more positive and confident. Such a positive influence will spread to your other relationships, and your loved ones will be able to see a happier and better version of you. If you see all these happening, it is an important signal that he is perfect for you.

10. He gives you priority 

Despite the busy schedule, your guy always tries to make time for you. He puts you and your needs first. If you are in trouble, he is always there to help you. He always makes time to accompany you in activities that are important to you. All these show that you are his top priority and are indicators that he may be the person you have been looking for.

11. You share a deep mutual respect for one another 

Love and respect are both important aspects of a healthy relationship. If either one is absent, the relationship collapses. So, it is imperative you understand if your partner respects you. Does he always listen to you when you speak? Does he value your opinions? Does he make sure not to cut you off while you are speaking? Does he allow you to vent if you need to? Does he pay attention to you? If the answers to all these questions are yes, then it is a major sign that he is the one for you.

12. He is proud of your accomplishments 

He is happy about your achievements and celebrates with you. He proudly tells his friends and loved ones about your achievements. He is never threatened by your successes and always encourages you to soar higher. Such gestures are perfect indicators of a long-lasting relationship.

13. You can see your future with each other 

You have a prominent place in his plans and ideas for the future. Likewise, you cannot imagine a future without him. The two of you can easily plan your trip for the next year because you know you will be together. This clearly shows that he is the right person for you. On the other hand, if your guy avoids talking about the future under some pretext, he is not “the one” for you.

14. You want each other to be happy 

When he is happy, your world feels brighter and more beautiful. For you, his happiness is as important as your own happiness, and you walk the extra mile to make him smile. He also does his best to bring you happiness. If he wants to be with other people, you are ready to do your best for his happiness, knowing that he will do the same for you. If these come naturally to you both, you are hopelessly and selflessly in love with each other, and you are destined to be together.

15. He loves talking about you 

When you are in love, your partner is constantly on your mind. So you end up speaking about the person very often. Does he proudly tell the world about you? If he talks glowingly about you with his friends with the risk of being teased, it means he is thinking about you. He wants the world to know that he is serious about you and does not care what anyone thinks.

16. Your sexual chemistry is off the charts 

Sex is an indispensable part of any love relationship. So, if you find it difficult to separate from each other even after being together for a while, and you feel an undeniable spark with every touch, it is a good sign. Sexual dissatisfaction and guilt can destroy romantic relationships.

17. He makes you laugh

They say that laughter is a way to a woman’s heart. Sometimes, your life can be difficult, and you may feel hopeless. If he makes you laugh in the worst days with his silly jokes and crazy antics, he may be “the one” for you.

18. He cares about your dreams 

He treats your dreams with the same respect as his own and encourages you to realize them. Dreams require certain sacrifices, and he doesn’t shy away from making the sacrifices. He will readily compromise and make adjustments to support your endeavors. A man who values your dreams and supports them is definitely the perfect man.

19. Being with him feels right 

Your instincts are generally on point when it comes to judging people. So, learn to listen to your inner voice. If you feel completely happy, secure, fulfilled, free, and cherished with him, your heart will tell you he is the right guy. So, go with the flow and trust your judgment.

20. He loves you for who you are 

He loves and accepts you the way you are. Despite all your shortcomings, he still thinks you are perfect for him. He doesn’t try to change you to suit his needs. You can be yourself with him without any pretense. He never brings up your past mistakes and never judges you by them. Such a person is rare in a lifetime. If you have such a person, then you are lucky.

21. He is open to feedback 

Healthy relationships require open and honest communication between the two partners. While you shouldn’t try to change everything about your partner, both of you should be open to feedback. The right guy would be open to receiving feedback from you without getting upset or angry. He will calmly listen to you and try to change his behavior.

22. He brings optimism to your life 

Being with a negative person can affect your thinking and attitude. If he is a person who often complains, is worried, and makes you feel sad and exhausted, you may consider leaving him. On the other hand, if he is a positive person who can always find the good in even harsh situations and makes you feel positive, then you may have found an angel.

23. He considers you as his best friend

More than lovers, you are friends first. He shares his deepest, darkest secrets, vulnerabilities, and insecurities with you. You are his go-to person for sharing all his happiness too. He shows you his crazy, funny, goofy, and stupid sides without the fear of judgment. All these indicate a strong friendship and comfort between you two, which are essential for any long-term relationship.

24. He is always honest with you

Lies can cause the breakdown of relationships. The right life partner will be upfront with you from the beginning. If he has different interests and hobbies, he will tell you instead of faking interest to impress you. He will talk to you about his friends, family, and past without hiding anything from you. He wouldn’t feel embarrassed to get emotional or vent out his frustrations in front of you.

25. He involves you while making important decisions

He treats you as equal and values your suggestions. Since you are a team, any major decision about his life may change your lives. He knows this, and so he always discusses important decisions with you and takes your opinion before making a final decision.

26. He is intrigued by you 

You have known each other for a while and know a lot about each other, but he is still interested in getting to know you better. Everything about you fascinates him, and he likes to know every detail about you. Big things like your interests, career, dreams, and little things like your favorite pizza toppings or your favorite color, everything interests him. He genuinely wants to know about people close to you, such as your family and friends, and enquires about their well-being.

27. He loves taking care of you 

He always checks if you have eaten properly. Whenever you are sick or sad, you always find him by your side, trying to cheer you up. He gets your favorite chocolates, cooks for you, and keeps you company. If you need a lift on a rainy day or need help with shopping, you can always count on him to be there for you. He remembers all the little things you love and often surprises you with them.

28. He is committed to making the relationship work 

In the long run, it is not enough to have ideal qualities. Interpersonal relationships are hard work and need to be cultivated. Therefore, both you and your life partner must be fully committed to making this relationship work. People who are persistent in a romantic relationship will never deceive you, but make time for you, communicate clearly and honestly, and make the necessary compromises and sacrifices.

29. He stands by you in challenging situations 

In the honeymoon period and happy time of the relationship, everything is beautiful, but the real test of the relationship is when you face difficulties together. Will he support you in your darkest days? If you share your deepest or most painful secret with him, how will he react? Will he stay on the mountain or run? If you face a personal or financial crisis, will he be there to support you?

The right person will come along and be by your side. Your relationship must endure even in tough times. Therefore, before deciding to get into a serious relationship, consider all the difficult experiences you have gone through together and his reaction to each of them.

30. He is a gentleman 

While he is completely modern in his outlook, he has a chivalrous side to his personality. You have gotten used to him opening doors and pulling chairs for you. Whenever you go out, he is always on time and walks you to the door at the end of the day. He regularly shows his appreciation for you by paying you genuine compliments. If you notice all these in him, he may be “the one” for you.

31. You miss each other when apart 

Distance makes your heart grow fonder. You miss him even if you saw him earlier that day. You find yourself calling or messaging him during odd hours. Seeing him after being apart for even a short while makes your day brighter. If you experience all these, your heart might be trying to tell you that you have fallen for him. Does he miss you too? If he messages or calls you just because he misses you and drops by at odd hours to be with you, even if just for a few minutes, it means he also has feelings for you.

32. You complement each other. 

Compatibility doesn’t mean that he has to be your alter ego. It means your personalities fit well together. Sometimes, two similar personalities can have differences. If you frequently get into shouting matches because you both are short-tempered, you might not be the right fit. People who often complement each other make good partners. If one is impulsive and the other is cautious, the cautious partner can stop the impulsive one from making rash decisions. Similarly, if one partner is short-tempered and the other one is calm, the calm one can help in resolving issues.

However, if two people are different with no common ground, it can lead to problems. Balance is the key to any long-term relationship. If your relationship is balanced and fulfilling, then it will stand the test of time.

33. He is a kind-hearted person 

Kindness is an important human trait. He might love you, but does he treat you with kindness? If he says he loves you but is cruel and mean to you, then he is not “the one” for you. If he wants to impress you, he might show only his good side to you. Therefore, it is important to understand how he treats other people. You must pay attention to his attitude towards his friends, family, waiters, bartenders, clerks, and maids. If he treats you as well as people around him with compassion, then he is a perfect match.

34. He handles his personal crises with maturity

Personal crises often reveal human nature. When experiencing a personal crisis, pay close attention to how he treats you and others. Does he vent his anger towards you or those in contact with him? A mature person will channel his anger and not treat his loved ones as punching bags. Moreover, in such a situation, he will be busy solving the crisis. However, if you are completely out of his priority list, he may not be the right person.

35. His past relationships stay in the past 

Interpersonal relationships and heartbreaks may be a part of his past life, but he doesn’t cling to them. With these experiences behind him, he has no suppressed anger, resentment, guilt, or regret. He has no contact with his ex, but whenever you discuss his past, he always talks about her politely. Past baggage may harm any relationship. Therefore, if he does not have any past entanglements, it is a good sign.

The quest for the right one can be a long and difficult journey. While some intuitively feel that deep connection with their soul mates, others might need some soul searching. If you are in two minds, the signs above will help you figure out if he is “the one” for you. While you may meet many frogs on your way, these signs will surely guide you to your prince charming. Just be patient and pay attention.

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Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena

(PhD (Counseling Psychology))
Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board licensed therapist in the USA and Puerto Rico with a specialty in couples, families, and relationships. Dr. Carlos possesses a PhD in Counseling Psychology granted at the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico. His two-decade professional experience also includes scientific research in family emotional and relational processes and its effect on psychological functioning. Dr.... more

Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship articles, where she deals with both the rosy and the grey side... more