A breakup is painful as it marks the end of a beautiful dream you saw when you got into the relationship. A bad breakup can make you feel like the world is ending on you and trapping you alone in your misery.
But remember, it is just a phase that will help you learn about yourself and make you stronger as a person. Any person going through a breakup often experiences certain stages or emotions as they come out of a romantic relationship. Keep reading this post to understand those 12 stages of a breakup you may experience as you heal and move on.
12 Stages Of A Breakup
Various therapists and counselors have shared different stages of breakup and how a person goes through the grieving phases. We bring you a gist of those stages so that you can relate with them, understand you are not alone, and help yourself come out of the zone sooner than expected.
Stage 1: Bewilderment
Breakup at first can cause shock and even confusion. Everything on the outside may seem normal, but on the inside, the change in life may gnaw at your invisible wounds. You may try to ignore the feeling and may not be sure of what you are feeling. You may wonder what road to take at the crossroads and fear you might enter the stage of denial.
Stage 2: Denial
When you are out of the initial confusion and confronted with the truth, it can get traumatic to accept. In a bid to escape the pain, you might deny it. Your mind could be clouded by thoughts such as ‘is it over,’ ‘if I adjust a little, maybe we could get back,’ and so on. You might prefer doing anything but accept the actual breakup.
Stage 3: Guilt
In the next stage, you may feel guilty and even responsible for the failure of the relationship. It does not matter if your partner broke up with you or if you were a victim of abuse. At this stage, you start wondering if you had done things differently, reacted differently, behaved differently, you could have salvaged the relationship. These feelingscould prompt you to get in touch with your ex.
Stage 4: Negotiation
Out of guilt, you may try to make amends with your ex-partner. You might get in touch with them and try to reconcile. You may feel desperate to get back with them and overlook the reasons that led to your breakup. At this point, all that matters to you is to get back with them, which is a familiar zone for you.
Stage 5: Reunion
At this stage, if you are unable to accept the separation, and in caseyour partner experiences the same feelings—you might get back with them. But such a reunion does not last long, especially if the relationship has serious problems such as cheating or abuse. It may make you feel good temporarily, but eventually, the facade will break, and you might fall harder.
Stage 6: Anger
When you finally come to terms with a failing relationship, it is natural to feel angry. You are reminded of the time, energy, and everything else you invested in the relationship and feel cheated. You may get angry with yourself for falling for your partner and with your partner for letting you go. Remember that such anger is good as it gives you a different perspective and helps you see problematic aspects of your relationship.
Stage 7: Rebound
If you harbor anger in you, you might make the mistake of getting into another relationship as soon as you can. You may want to go on random dates and explore dating options you did not consider before. You may not think straight and feel that to get over your ex, you need another love affair to reduce your pain. But, you should know that itis the wrong way to deal with a breakupand loneliness.
Stage 8: Depression
When nothing works to soothe your breakupache, you may start feeling depressed over a failed relationship. You start questioning your choices in life and the kind of person you are. Life could feel dull, and even your favorite activities maynot excite you anymore. You might feel helpless at this stage.
Stage 9: Mood swings
If you cross the above stage without addressing it, you might find yourself in a downward spiral as youmay experience mood swings. One moment you may feel life is beautiful and that you are invincible. The very next moment, you may find yourself crying your eyes for no apparent reason. You might experience frequent mood swings that could keepyou on edge all the time.
Stage 10: Acceptance
Finally, you will feel tired of wallowing in self-pity and will seek out. You will start by accepting the situation. You may tell yourself that ‘breakup is not the end of the world’ and ‘I deserve so much better than this.’. You will see and acknowledge why the relationship did not work out and how it is good for you.
Stage 11: Self-care
If you have been eating your pain every night by binging on junk food, then you may want to get rid of it by this stage. Since you have time for yourself, you may want to invest in your health and happiness. Joining the gym or yoga class, regular visits to the spa, spending time with friends, and severalother ‘self-care activities become a part of your schedule.
Stage 12: Rejuvenation
As you spend more time maintaining good health, you start feeling happy from within, and it starts showing on your face. You look happier, which naturally attracts people to you. You realize that there is more to life than a relationship. By this stage, you learn to be content with yourself and may or may not want to give dating another chance.
Breakups are tough. But remember that you are not the first one to deal with and certainly not the last. Treat it as a challenge and work hard to get your life together. You may fail numerous times but do not lose hope and keep going. Eventually, your efforts will pay off, and your life will come back on the right track.