“Distance means so little when someone means so much.”
In a nutshell, that is a long-distance relationship or LDR, as the millennials refer to it.
A long-distance relationship is romanticized for all that the partners have to endure and do to make it work. That feeling when you are far away, but your hearts are still connected, that urge to see and touch your partner after a long time, and that newness of the relationship every time you meet, are what make it unique, dreamy, and yet fulfilling.
But it is not always as rosy as people make it out to be, and some even consider it to be a temporary love. But that is not the case always. With profound love and a few adjustments here and there, a long distance relationship can be long-lasting. Read this MomJunction post to know how to make a long distance relationship work.
Tips To Make Long Distance Relationship Work
When all you feel for your partner is love and more love, nothing can separate you from them. But let’s admit it. Love alone is not enough to keep a long-distance relationship alive. Here, we give you a few tips to help your long-distance relationship grow in spite of the distance between you two.
1. Communication is the key
Every couple in a long-distance relationship is different. Some couples love to talk all day, while some talk between tasks and for a short period. You could talk every day, once in two days, twice a day, or mostly text and talk once in a while.
You and your partner should decide about it to avoid misconceptions. You can make alterations as and when necessary. Be flexible and accommodate any changes in the schedule.
Since there is less touch or face-to-face interaction in a long-distance relationship, you should be careful in choosing the words for communication. Focus on quality communication, which is neither too much nor too little, but just right. Share pictures and videos, be creative, but don’t let the conversations become dull.
2. Frequent visits are necessary
Thomas Fuller said, “Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.” To make your bond stronger with time, with time, you should meet at least once every three to four months, or sooner if possible. Meeting often helps to revive the relationship and doesn’t make it bland. Planned or unplanned, personal visits maintain the flow in the relationship and keep the bond strong even when you both are away from each other.
Physical intimacy, such as holding hands, kissing, or hugging, is essential in every relationship as it brings two people close to each other and improves the bond. So, don’t wait to go and see your partner. Make that visit as soon as possible.
3. Do things together
You may be away from each other, but you can do some activities together. Technology serves as a bridge between you both if you can get a little creative. Watch a movie at the same time and chat simultaneously, go shopping and buy a couple of things for each other, or learn something together online. Pick anything that interests you both and enjoy doing it together even when you are not together.
4. Transparency helps stability
When both the partners are transparent in a relationship, trusting one another becomes easy. Share your feelings, whether they are positive or negative. Never try to hide anything from your partner as the secret comes out sooner or later. And any explanation after that may be futile. Also, being transparent helps you have no regrets. It’s a win-win for you and your relationship.
5. Support should be constant
You can’t be physically present in a long-distance relationship, but you can always be there emotionally. Your partner might need you when he or she is feeling low or during times of emotional trouble or whenever they have a dilemma. Make yourself present, lend your ear, and provide support. There are times when a person needs his or her beloved’s hand on the shoulder.
So the next time your partner hints that they need your help, offer it without any whys or wherefores.
6. Pay attention to the positives
Every relationship has its positives and negatives. Whenever you miss your partner or feel sad being in a long-distance relationship, start focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship. A long-distance relationship is an interdependent relationship that allows you to carry on with your hobbies and interests, become patient with time, and succeed in overcoming all the challenges through your courtship period.
Besides, you can be thankful for what you have – a loving partner, some personal space, utmost support, trust, and unspoken commitment. Distance between you and your partner is temporary, so don’t let negativity seep in during this passing phase.
7. Set boundaries
Whether it is a long-distance relationship or not, healthy boundaries have to be set for a successful relationship. You should talk to your partner about what you like and dislike and find out what their expectations are from you. Although you are not dependent on each other, you are committed to each other. By boundaries, we do not mean putting a fence around your partner or restricting your partner.
When the boundaries are established in a long-distance relationship, some of the fruitful outcomes include honest communication, no dependence for happiness, respect for each other’s interests, and living a carefree yet committed life.
8. Don’t always rely on technology
Technology or digital platforms indeed play a significant role in keeping a long-distance relationship active. But it should not become the only medium between you and your partner. If you are only texting, chatting, and talking over the phone, it means your relationship is surviving on thin threads. There are many more ways to communicate with your partner other than technology.
Try innovative or classic ways of communication, such as writing a love letter or sending a gift or funny postcards to them. You can even keep something of your own in your beloved’s bedroom or on work-table that helps him or her reminded of you. Such small gestures to stay connected can strengthen your romantic bond.
9. Plan to resolve conflicts
Disagreements and arguments are common in any relationship. But when you and your partner are under one roof or are in the same city, you can meet and solve the issues by talking about them. When you are physically available for each other, you can see each other to gauge what the other is feeling and know better how to respond and solve the problem.
But when you are away, it becomes difficult to solve the problem over the phone or chat. It helps, however, to figure out a safe way to resolve the issues between you beforehand. For instance, you can set aside certain issues to talk about when you meet, or you can take a break for a day or two to calm down after a disagreement to avoid saying things you may regret.
10. Rejoice your ‘me time’
One of the good things about a long-distance relationship is that it doesn’t make you too dependent. You have a lot of time to use productively. Learn something new, exercise or practice yoga, watch TV shows, and do anything that pleases you.
11. Never make assumptions
When you and your partner are far away and don’t get to talk or meet much, it creates room for assumptions. Instead of sowing seeds of misunderstandings, fill the gap with faith in your partner. Assumptions could be toxic for your relationship. In case you have any doubts, it is better to ask your partner instead of weaving stories in your head.
12. Make plans
The main goal is to be together. So instead of waiting for the right time to come, you can make plans for your life together right now. Whether it is about relocation or telling your families about your relationship or getting engaged – start making plans whenever you both are free or together. This will give you both hope and take you a long way ahead.
13. Admire your relationship
Being in a long-distance relationship is not at all easy. You might experience episodes of loneliness and have impulsive ideas such as relocating or quitting your work overnight. But is that practical? Think about it and all the reasons why you chose to have a long-distance relationship in the first place.
Whether it was for familial or professional reasons, you made a decision based on what your priorities were to create a bright future together. So be proud of your decision and don’t doubt your relationship or your partner.
14. Intimacy is the secret
Sex is an essential part of a relationship. It is not just a pleasurable act but also helps to bring the partners emotionally closer. Even if you are far away, you can keep the spark of your sex life alive. You can do so by dirty talking, sexting, and trying to be as flirty as you can while conversing with each other.
When you meet your partner after a few months, you can recreate those intimate moments and enhance your romantic relationship even more. This makes your bond stronger emotionally and physically and keeps you connected for many more years.
15. Control your feelings
Partners in a long-distance relationship tend to be vulnerable. They get angry often, feel low, become jealous, and sometimes act suspicious. These emotions should be controlled, or they might take a toll on your relationship. Make an effort to understand each other better and try to keep your emotions in control (do not repress them but express them healthily) to avoid damaging the relationship.
You can try meditation to control your emotions, focus on your life, avoid overthinking, trust your partner, give them space, and try to build an interdependent relationship.
16. Involve family and friends
When you are serious about your relationship, involving your family and friends shouldn’t be a problem. In fact, doing so can nourish your relationship even more. This will help you strengthen the bond and experience new familial relationships.
17. Set up unique dates
Plan some unusual dates to have fun. Have a video date during weekends, or a video call that keeps you up all night. You can talk, share secrets, watch a video together, and play a game as well. Be as innovative as you can be and create cute memories of a long-distance relationship that you can treasure later in life.
18. Exchange couple gifts
Why exchange gifts only on a special occasion when you can make any day special by exchanging gifts? On any casual day, you can send a quirky gift to your partner. You can purchase two of the same things, such as couple’s t-shirts or couple watches for you and your partner, and flaunt them when you are together. Such gifts can remind you both of those special times.
19. Ignore outside influences
Not many people understand the value of a long-distance relationship. And when they don’t, they might tell you more about its cons than its pros. The best way to keep such negative influences out is not to listen to them. When you and your partner love each other, trust each other, and have faith in the relationship, then the third parties should be shut off.
20. Say no to stonewalling
Stonewalling means refusing to cooperate or communicate. It is also called the silent treatment, which is common in long-distance relationships. One partner doesn’t talk at all, leaving the other angry or second-guessing. This would be worse than quarreling. So, whatever happens, don’t stonewall your partner.
21. Avoid speed-breakers
Several unpredictable situations may pop up and hurt your relationship. Instead of letting those things control your relationship, be positive, respect your relationship, and manage those hurdles blocking your way. Never allow any person or any situation to come between you and your partner. This will help your long-distance relationship, survive through thick and thin.
Love is love, and no boundaries can prevent it from growing. But there are challenges that you can manage with the tips we discussed above. These tips may help you stay strong and positive. Respect your love and enjoy every moment of being in it. These lovey-dovey moments can turn out to be the golden moments of your life.
Do you have any more tips to make a long-distance relationship work? Do share them with us in the comment section below.
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