What Is Vulnerability In A Relationship And Why It Is Important

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It is common for people to attach vulnerability in a relationship with a weakness tag. Also, most individuals like to stay in vanity to avoid revealing too many things to anyone. But, vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; it could instead make you stronger. While in a relationship, being vulnerable is a key factor of a personality and could help you get closer to your partner.

If you want to build a long-lasting and inseparable bond in a relationship, it is time to withdraw your shield to an extent to bring out your vulnerable self. Although it requires a lot of courage to reveal feelings and other personal thoughts to someone, it is crucial and beneficial to open up in a relationship.

Read on to explore more about vulnerability and how to be aptly vulnerable in relationships.

What Is Vulnerability?

Vulnerability is the ability to let down your guard around people. It entails emotionally exposing yourself to others. You need to have a lot of courage to open up to someone, even your partner, and it involves undergoing a lot of uncertainty and exposing yourself to risk to a certain extent. Many people find it frightening to share personal things or their innermost thoughts and fears with others.

So, how is vulnerability good for your relationship? Let’s discuss the various aspects of vulnerability in a relationship.

At the beginning of any relationship, you try to get an idea of how the other person is, and thus, there is a lot of information sharing that happens. However, most of the information you share in the initial stages may not carry much weight because all you are concentrating on is not scaring away the person you like by providing too many details about your personal life.

However, as the relationship progresses, and when you feel you can trust your partner, you might want to share something deeper with them. Being vulnerable in a relationship implies letting down your walls and being completely honest with them.

Examples Of Being Vulnerable In A Relationship

Being vulnerable in a relationship could mean different things for different people. Here are some common examples of being vulnerable in a relationship.

  • Sharing your deepest, darkest thoughts with someone
  • Sharing a secret about yourself that you have not told anyone else
  • Apologizing for doing something wrong without being passive-aggressive
  • Telling someone they have hurt you
  • Being able to celebrate victory and defeat with them
  • Risking rejection by sharing your personal thoughts and emotions
  • Telling someone you need some space

How To Be Vulnerable In A Relationship?

Being honest to someone is easier said than done. Many of us fear being judged, and that stops us from being vulnerable in a relationship.

However, if you have decided to be vulnerable in your relationship to build intimacy or forge a deeper bond, here is how you can do it within limits.

1. Recognize your strengths and flaws

Before you open up about yourself to someone, introspect and know about yourself first. Identify your strengths and flaws and accept them before you expose yourself to others.

2. Start slowly

It is obvious that you would share your intimate details only with a person you trust. However, it does not mean you have to reveal everything about yourself in a day. Take your time. Start by sharing small things first, and see if your partner is worthy of your trust.

3. Ask yourself what’s preventing you from being vulnerable

If there are some aspects of your life you do not want to divulge to your partner, ask yourself why you want to keep those a secret. Figure out what is causing the reluctance on your part, and try to overcome the barrier.

4. Start by telling what you need

Every new thing you take up needs practice. Being vulnerable is no different. You need to start practicing being vulnerable around your partner. You may begin by telling them your needs, both physical or emotional. This could pave the way for you to share bigger things.

5. Share your fears

Any relationship can be taken to the next level when you feel comfortable sharing your fears with your partner. Instead of maintaining your distance when you feel insecure, start sharing your fears with your partner. This will help you build intimacy in your relationship.

What Is The Limit To Being Vulnerable?

Many people often mistake oversharing for vulnerability. Vulnerability doesn’t necessarily mean you are sharing personal stuff. You could be talking all day about various things and yet not be vulnerable.

Being vulnerable entails letting a person see your innermost, true self, and it can be done only with a few. Do not let everyone know every detail of your life.

Being vulnerable is a practiced skill. You need to be ready before you let down your guard slowly. Vulnerability is a trait that others have to earn — you cannot be vulnerable with everyone around you.

As being vulnerable involves letting down our guards, most of us try to avoid the unpleasantness totally. However, the more vulnerable you are, the more your partner will appreciate you for your authenticity. Once you start to let your guard down, your partner will likely let theirs down as well. This results in a close and transparent relationship with no insecurity and total happiness.

So, muster up the courage, start being vulnerable one step at a time, and see how your relationship blooms.

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Natalie Jay Campbell

(MSW, LCSW)
Natalie Jay is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in San Diego County with a specialty in depression, anxiety, trauma, couple therapy, and addiction. She has a Bachelors degree in Psychological & Brain Sciences from Washington University in St. Louis and a Masters degree in Clinical Social Work from San Diego State University. Natalie has worked for county non-profit agencies as... more

Shikha Thakur

Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship articles, where she deals with both the rosy and the grey side... more